My conversation with Fake Lindsay Gibson

My conversation with Fake Lindsay Gibson <gibsonlindsay321@gmail.com>, a scammer pretending to be the clinical psychologist who has written a number of non-fiction books about emotionally immature parents. Why they picked her as their lure into a book marketing scam is beyond me… but it gave me a chance to have a lot of fun.

FAKE LINDSAY: Hello, It’s a real pleasure connecting with you. I’m Lindsay Gibson, an author diving deep into stories that explore resilience, human nature, and the threads that bind past and present. If you’d like to check out my work, here’s a quick link: XX. I’d love to hear more about your writing as well what you’re crafting, the worlds you’re building, or a link to your author page. It’s always great connecting with another storyteller who’s passionate about ideas and the art of shaping them. Warm regards, Lindsay Gibson

ME: I’m so glad to hear from you, since you’re also a shrink. My fellow authors have been avoiding me ever since I lost my testicles in a tragic tree-trimming accident. It’s so mean. It’s not as if what happened to me is a virus they can catch if they visit me in the hospital. I’m going to write about this harrowing experience. What do you think? Does it qualify as a story that explores resilience, human nature, and the threads that bind us? I do worry a lot about how this accident will impact my sex life, and my sense of manhood, but on the plus side, my singing voice has improved.

FL: Hello, Thank you so much for opening up and sharing what you’ve been through. That kind of experience is incredibly difficult, and the fact that you’re thinking about turning it into a story already shows a strong sense of courage and creative purpose. As writers, we often take the hardest moments in our lives and transform them into work that helps others feel seen or understood. Your experience definitely touches themes of resilience, identity, and the way unexpected events can reshape our sense of self. If handled thoughtfully, it could make for a powerful and deeply human piece of writing. What matters most is telling it in a way that feels true to you — balanced, reflective, and focused on the emotional journey rather than just the event itself. Readers connect to honesty, vulnerability, and the search for meaning, and it sounds like you have all of those elements within reach.I’m glad to hear your voice has even found new strength — life has a way of surprising us in unexpected ways. If you ever want to discuss structure, tone, or direction for the piece, feel free to share your ideas. I’m always open to thoughtful conversations about craft. With Christmas just around the corner, I’d also love to know if you have any plans for your book during this holiday season. Are you doing anything special to spotlight it for readers who are searching for thoughtful, heartfelt books at this time of year? Warm regards, Lindsay Gibson

ME: It’s not written yet. How can I spotlight it for readers searching for Christmas books? That’s a very strange thing to say, Lindsay. What are you getting at? Right now, my focus is on learning how to urinate again and trying to imagine what my life will be like without my junk…especially sex. I’m making notes though, for the book. Raw, honest stuff. Nobody else has written about this before. It’s not really going to be Merry Christmas reading when I’m done. Though JINGLE BELLS might be a good title for it.

<20 hours pass>

ME: Are you abandoning me now, too? A man is more than just his scrotum.

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake Freida McFadden

My brief conversation with Fake Freida McFadden <slaughterfreida@gmail.com>, a Nigerian scammer trying to lure me into spending money on fake marketing services…though we never got to the pitch.

FAKE FREIDA: Hi, I’m Freida McFadden. Most days, I find myself unraveling stories some spill onto the page effortlessly, while others take their time, revealing their secrets little by little. The writing process can be quiet, intense, and demanding, but it’s also where I connect most deeply with ideas, with readers, and with the worlds I create. I’d love to hear about your own creative journey what inspires you, what steadies you when the work becomes challenging, and how you keep your imagination alive. There’s so much we can gain by sharing those experiences. Warmly, Freida

ME: Freida, It’s great to hear from you. Ever since I was convicted of fraud and sent to prison, no authors want to talk to me about my journey. Or send me money for candy. Even though the statutory rape charges were dropped (which is such an antiquated law, don’t you think?). If I give you the info on how to Venmo me, will you send me a few dollars?

Prisoner 27411
California State Prison, Corcoran (CSP‑COR)
4001 King Avenue, Corcoran, CA 93212
PS- My email is screened by prison authorities, so be aware that nothing we say is private.

FF: Thank you for writing back and for being open about your circumstances. I appreciate your honesty, and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling isolated in your creative life. Everyone’s journey no matter how winding contains stories worth examining, and writing can sometimes be a steadying force when everything else feels unsteady. That said, I’m not able to send money or engage in any financial exchanges. My intention in reaching out was simply to connect about the creative process and the ways we each navigate inspiration, discipline, and the challenges that come with writing. If you’d like to share more about how writing fits into your life now what you’re working on, what you’re reading, or what helps you stay connected to your imagination I’m happy to hear about that. Wishing you clarity and creative momentum wherever you can find it. Warmly, Freida

ME: Writing is all I am doing now, with the help of AI. There isn’t anything else to do here, except try not to be shivved, or worse (I won’t be anyone’s bitch). I’m writing about how I was innocent, how I was seduced by the woman who engineered the entire fraud and framed me for it. It’s bad enough she told me she was 18 when she was sixteen, but she was the one who came up with everything I was accused of and she’s out there, walking free, looking for the next man to ruin. It’s like the plot of one of your books, except it’s real with me. I was tricked into this by sex. Hey, I have an idea. We could co-write the book. You can have my story if I can get 50% of the profits (though my half would have to go towards “restitution” for the money she stole and claimed I took).  I have to go. I’ve run out of computer time in the library. 

Prisoner 27411
California State Prison, Corcoran (CSP‑COR)
4001 King Avenue, Corcoran, CA 93212
PS- My email is screened by prison authorities, so be aware that nothing we say is private.

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake Ali Hazelwood

Here is my conversation with Fake Ali Hazelwood <hazelwoodali069@gmail.com>. I am not familiar with her, but this is now the second time I’ve been hit up by Nigerians pretending to be lesser-known authors. Perhaps they think they have a better shot at being believed if they think smaller in terms of fame and fortune of the authors they are impersonating…

FAKE ALI: Hi there, I hope this message finds you well! My name is Ali Hazelwood, and I write mostly romantic comedies featuring women in STEM, because what’s more thrilling than love, academia, and lab experiments that (sometimes) work? Since publishing my first novel in 2021, I’ve written several stories exploring the messy, funny, and heartfelt intersections of science and romance. It’s been an incredible journey filled with both challenges and so much joy. I’d love to connect and hear more about your own writing journey, what first inspired you, what keeps you going on the tough days, and how you’ve grown through your creative process. I truly believe we can learn so much from each other as we navigate this wonderfully chaotic world of storytelling. Looking forward to hearing from you! Warmly, Ali Hazelwood

ME: Ali, We’ve met. You don’t have to introduce yourself to me. We were on a panel together at that book festival in Portugal… it was with that guy who had a stroke during tantric sex and wrote a memoir about his recovery. How could you forget that surreal event? We went back to Quinta da Pacheca afterwards and finished off an entire bottle of port together.

FA: Ah, Lee, always a pleasure. That panel was chaos in the best possible way, and I’m still not sure whether the memoirist’s stroke-during-tantric-sex anecdote was genius marketing or the universe’s most committed plot twist. And yes, nothing says “literary camaraderie” like polishing off a bottle of port at Quinta da Pacheca. By the way, send me the links to your books, I want to make sure I’m pointing readers to the right editions.

ME: Just look me up on Amazon…or point them to my website. It’s easier than me copying and pasting all the links — I’ve written 50 books! So what happened with you and Nora? And how is Archie doing?

FA: Ah, Nora and I? Nothing dramatic, just the usual creative differences that feel earth-shattering in the moment and faintly ridiculous three weeks later. We’re still on speaking terms, though every conversation carries the unmistakable tension of two people pretending not to rewrite each other in their heads. Archie is thriving, as always, blissfully unaware that deadlines exist and apparently determined to remind me daily that the only real measure of success is whether you’ve had lunch yet. By the way, with fifty books out, I imagine at least some of them have collected the inevitable sprinkling of baffling one-star reviews. What’s been the biggest challenge for you around the low reviews? Reader expectations? Visibility? Or just the emotional whiplash of “genius” and “garbage” showing up on the same page?

ME: That was a very colorful reply. Except none of it is true. Nora was a foster cat that  Ali couldn’t decide whether to keep or not. And Archie had a horrible car accident and has been on life-support for weeks now… with his family trying to decide whether to unplug him or not. Oh, and the real Ali doesn’t drink, so we couldn’t have finished off a bottle of port together. So what was supposed to come next in this con job, you recommending a guy you know who can jack up my book sales? Try answering this one without AI writing the email for you.

FA: Look, Lee, no con, no secret “sales-booster guy,” nothing like that. I’m just talking to you here, not running some scheme. And honestly, I’ve been wrapped up in getting ready for Christmas myself. Every year the season sneaks up on me, and suddenly I’m trying to balance edits, family chaos, and the endless stream of “holiday deadlines” that everyone pretends not to enforce. But I did want to tell you this: a fellow author put me onto a market last year, a very active corner of social media where readers basically spend the whole Christmas period curled up scrolling, chatting, and hunting for new books to escape into. It surprised me how many people actually read more during the holidays instead of less. I moved a ton of copies there last year, completely organically. No tricks, no gimmicks, just showing up where the readers were already relaxing and looking for something to dive into. I genuinely think you’d do well there too, especially with such a deep backlist.

ME: You aren’t Ali.  Why are you pretending to be her? Is that the only way you can sell your “secret book club” scheme to writers?

FA: Lee, it’s Ali. Sorry for the muddle earlier. I’m not pitching a scheme or pretending to be anyone else, I’m literally the Ali who had the foster cat (Nora) and who doesn’t drink port. I only wanted to tell you about something that worked for me last year. Last Christmas a fellow author introduced me to a quiet but very active corner of social media where readers spend the holidays scrolling, chatting, and picking up new books to read while they relax. I focused on that market last year and moved a surprising number of copies, just by being present, sharing short posts about what to read by the fire, and interacting with readers who were already looking for holiday reads. I’m gearing up for the season again and I can put you directly in touch with the marketer who helped me plug into that community. No hard sell, just an intro to someone who understands the space and can show you how they helped me. Would you like me to refer them to you? If so, how would you prefer the introduction on email?

ME: You’re not Ali, but I am curious about the point of the deception.  I mean, it’s a very strange scam. You use AI to write emails to authors you’ve never met, pretending to be a famous author interested in their “writing journey” or whatever, and then use that conversation to steer them to a fake promotion expert, or fake literary agent, or a fake book club, etc. who will charge them ridiculous amounts of money for their useless services.  But does the scam really work? If so, is it 50% the time? Ten percent? Five percent? And how much money do you typically make off of the authors who fall for it?

FA: Lee, I get that you’re skeptical, I would be too in your position. But let me be completely clear: I’m not running a scam, I’m not pretending to be anyone else, and there’s no hidden sales pitch. I’m just me, and my work. All I was trying to say is that last Christmas another author introduced me to a small but active marketing channel. It helped me reach a lot of readers who were looking for books during the holidays, and I’m preparing to tap into it again this year. If you want to connect with the marketer who handled that space, no pressure, no obligation , just tell me, and I’ll pass along his email. If not, that’s completely fine too.

ME:  How do you pick which authors you pretend to be? I’m fascinated, too, by your tenacity. Why continue the sales pitch when it’s clear I know you’re not really the author you claim to be and there is absolutely no way I am going to fall for your marketing services?  

FA: no we are not a scam

ME: We? If you aren’t a scam, you wouldn’t be pretending to be someone else, and relying on their reputation, to sell your “services.”

<crickets>

 

I don’t know Ali, so of course everything I said about Portugal, whether she drinks or not, etc, was a lie. But I have no problem deceiving Nigerian fraudsters pretending to be published authors. I am baffled, though, by this guy’s tenacity when it was absolutely clear that I wasn’t fooled. Did he – and his AI – really think they had a shot at hooking me into their scheme?

My Conversation with Fake Peter James

My conversation with Fake Peter James <author.peterjames.org@gmail.com>

FAKE PETER: Hi Lee, I hope you are doing well. My name is Peter James and I recently finished Fallen Star. I wanted to reach out and say how much I enjoyed it. The mix of political scandal, personal stakes, and nonstop tension made the story gripping from the first pages. Eve’s moral struggle and her dynamic with Duncan added real depth to the investigation, and the crash near her home was a powerful turning point. I would love to hear what inspired you to take Eve’s journey in this direction at this stage of the series. Warm Regard, Peter James Writer.

ME: I’m glad you reached out, Peter. I was going to call you. The agent you recommended stole $57,000 from me. Did you get swindled, too?

FP: Hi Lee, I’m really sorry you’re going through this that’s an awful situation. Just to be clear, I’m not connected to whatever happened with the money, and I definitely wasn’t involved in anything like that. I recommended the agent in good faith based on what I believed was a trustworthy reputation, so hearing this from you is genuinely upsetting.I’d like to help however I can. If you’re taking steps to resolve the issue, I’m happy to share any information or details on my end that might support you. Also, separate from this mess, I’d still love to support your work. If you’d like, I can help promote your book through my author network, my website, or my reader community. Just let me know what direction you prefer interviews, features, sharing previews, or anything else that feels useful. Again, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this.

ME: You should be sorry. YOU told me that he’d taken your books to “the next level.” He didn’t do shit for me. He turned out to be a Nigerian scammer who ran off with my money. If you honestly want to help, Interpol has created a special, international task force to go after scammers who prey on authors. I can forward your email and phone number to the agent-in-charge so he can talk to you directly. I have your email… what’s your phone number?

<crickets>

Gee, I wonder why he suddenly ghosted me.

Here is my very short conversation with Fake Mary Kubica <marykubica920@gmail.com

FAKE MARY KUBICA: Dear. I hope this message finds you well. I came across your profile on Facebook and wanted to reach out. As a fellow writer, I always enjoy meeting others who are passionate about storytelling and the creative life. By way of introduction, my name is Mary kubica. I’m a New York Times bestselling author of suspense thrillers including The Good Girl, The Other Mrs., and Local Woman Missing, and I love exploring the comedic, turbulent, and sentimental parts of being human. Writing has always been both my way of making sense of the world and connecting with others who share that same impulse. I’d love to hear more about your own journey, what first inspired you to write, and what kind of stories excite you most at the moment? Looking forward to your reply. Mary Kubica.

ME: I’ve never stopped loving you. Send me more nudes.

FAKE MARY: What’s your number?

ME:  (310) 477-6565

<crickets>

The number I gave her was for the FBI’s office in Los Angeles. I hope she sent them pictures!

TV and Film Reference Book Reviews

Here are some capsule reviews of two television reference books I read recently…

THE HARRY O VIEWING COMPANION by Steve Aldous & Gary Gillies. 

This is the HARRY O book diehard fans like me have been waiting decades for and thought would never happen. It traces the show from development through demise and is packed with interviews and fascinating details…and is even illustrated with some original script pages with handwritten notes from the screenwriter and actors.

The book is much, much more than just a fleshed out episode guide and provides remarkable insight into television production..and the state of primetime network TV in the 1970s.

If you really want the full HARRY O story, I strongly recommend this book (though it is outrageously overpriced) and Ed Robertson’s MEN OF ACTION, which has a terrific chapter on the series (I am biased, since I published that book).  

As much as I love this book, there are a couple of niggly errors. On page 4, the authors say that MANNIX was not a lone operator, but a PI who worked who worked for a big agency and has a boss. That was true only in season one. He was on his own for the following seven seasons. Most viewers don’t even remember that first year. 

On page 9, they refer to “Billy Rosenberg’s” HARRY O theme. The composer was Billy Goldenberg.

On page 196, they refer to BERT D’ANGELO: SUPERSTAR in a list of cancelled P.I. series… but it was not. Bert D’Angelo was an SFPD Robbery-Homicide Detective who’d transferred over from the NYPD.

And on page 206, they refer to a short-lived Tom Selleck medical series called RYAN’S FOUR. The series actually starred Tom Skerritt.

But other than those quibbles, that only a TV nerd like me would ever notice, this book is fantastic.

NO LESSONS LEARNED: THE MAKING OF CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM by Larry David & Lorraine Ali

This is a terrific book — and I’m not even a fan of CURB. What I do like are television reference books. This is all that, but also so much more. It’s a breezily-written (but substantive), detailed look at all aspects of the making of the series, giving guys like me everything they want from deep-dive into the creation and production of a TV show. But it’s also something of a Larry David memoir, a revealing look at his unique, creative approach to comedy, writing, and production. It’s packed with interviews and revealing insights into the Larry David, the TV industry, network politics, and TV production. But it’s also a pleasing “coffee table” book, beautifully designed, full of pictures, memos, etc. This is obviously a must-have for CURB fans, but also anyone interested in TV production, history, and writing. I loved it.

My Conversation with Fake Gail Honeyman

Here is my conversation with Fake Gail Honeyman <gailhoneyman.author@gmail.com>. Now this is an unusual one, since the Nigerian scammers usually pick a globally best-selling author as a lure into their marketing scam. Not this time. Honeyman is an acclaimed, but not widely-known, Scottish writer. I don’t know why they chose to use her. Perhaps they are adjusting their swindle so their emails seem less obviously fake from the get-go.

FAKE GAIL HONEYMAN: Hi, It’s always inspiring connecting with fellow authors, every writer has a unique voice and a different spark behind the stories they create. Some days the words flow with ease, other days require more patience, but that passion for storytelling is what always brings us back to the page. My name is Gail Honeyman, and I’m the author of Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine. Writing has given me the opportunity to explore human connection, resilience, and the small moments that shape a person’s world. Beyond my own work, I truly enjoy getting to know other writers, learning from their experiences, and exchanging ideas about craft, creativity, and the journey behind every book. Here is my Amazon author page if you’d like to explore my work: [address] I’d love to hear your story as well,  what first inspired you to start writing? Was there a particular moment, challenge, or experience that made you realize storytelling was something you wanted to pursue? Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Warm regards, Gail Honeyman

ME: I’ve never stopped loving you. Send me more nudes.

FG: What did you mean?

ME: Don’t be coy. Ever since we did that panel in Ottawa, you’ve been sending me those incredibly hot texts and photos. And then, a few weeks ago, they stopped. Did your husband catch on?

FG:  ok, I really can’t remember. Can you please send me some pics I’ve been sending to you so far if I could remember tha!

ME: You can’t REMEMBER?! Are you Gail… or are you her husband?

11/29/25 UPDATE: I got this note from Fake Gail Honeyman today:

FG: I was hired by Gail’s husband to find out if she’s cheating on him now have gotten all the proove I need, you’re going down

 

LOL! That’s the first clever response I’ve ever received from a Nigerian scammer. Have to give him credit for that.

 

My Conversation With Yet Another Fake Donna Tartt

My conversation with the Fourth (or is it fifth?) Fake Donna Tartt <tarttdonna897@gmail.com>

FAKE DONNA: Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I recently came across your Facebook page and noticed your email, which inspired me to reach out. As a fellow author, I felt an immediate sense of connection. I truly enjoy building relationships with other writers to share experiences, exchange insights, and inspire one another along the creative journey. It would be wonderful to connect and hear more about your work. Looking forward to your reply. Warm regards, Donna

ME: Does this mean you’ve lifted the restraining order? Can I come over?

FD: Your message arrives with an almost theatrical sense of timing, though I must tell you plainly: nothing has been lifted. Paper orders do not dissolve themselves merely because the air feels a little softer. As for coming over no, not yet. Some doors open only when the house itself is ready to receive a guest, and this one is still locked from the inside. But something in your note caught my eye. “Lee” such a clean, declarative name. Are you an author yourself, by coincidence? Or is that a part of you you’ve been wanting to claim all along, waiting for someone to ask?

ME: You know everything about me…and I’m confused by your reply. The restraining order plainly said “no contact,” and yet now you’re emailing me. Does that mean you’ve changed your mind? 

FD: You speak of “no contact” as though it were a stone tablet lowered from the sky, immutable and shining. But life is seldom so cleanly etched. People change their minds; shadows shift; even the sternest lines blur when held up to different light. Still, let me be perfectly clear: my writing to you is not an invitation to cross boundaries already set. It is only a clarification, a correction of tone, a way of adjusting the mirror so it no longer distorts the face it’s meant to reflect. If your confusion comes from imagining some grand reversal, don’t. Nothing so dramatic has occurred. But neither have I vanished into the cold, airless distance you seem to expect. Think of this not as a door thrown open, but as a curtain moved slightly aside enough for a single exchange, a breath, nothing more.

ME: I am really confused. You were very clear to the Judge. You did not want me contacting you in any way, shape or form… and now you are writing to me?  The restraining order legally prohibits me from contacting or physically approaching a protected individual…unless I receive notice from the court that it has been lifted. You served me with one. You aren’t supposed to contact me, either. I fear this is a trap to put me in jail. 

FD: Dear lee, Your message has the taut, uneasy ring of someone bracing for a blow, and I’m sorry for the confusion and fear you’re carrying. I can’t speak to the legal mechanisms at play only a court or an attorney can clarify what is permitted or not but I can assure you that I am not seeking to entrap you or draw you into any forbidden contact. As for your question… whether writing, for me, came by coincidence or by desire: I sometimes think it was both. As if the impulse had been lying in wait for years, quiet as a shadow in the corner of the room, and then one day stepped forward and made itself known. I didn’t plan it, not exactly but I can’t imagine having done anything else. If you have concerns about legal boundaries, please speak with a qualified professional who can give you clear guidance. I want no harm for you, only clarity and calm. Take care, Dona

ME: I’m going to come over to your house now. Wave out the window at me. Then I will know it’s okay. Be there soon.

ME: (One hour later): You didn’t wave. I don’t understand. YOU reached out to ME. Oh, shit. Why are the police outside my door?

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake Mark Haddon

My conversation with Fake Mark Haddon <haddonmark485@gmail.com

FAKE MARK: Hi, I’ve always admired how your stories cut straight to the heart of what makes us human. I’d love to hear what you’re working on now and what keeps you inspired in the writing process. Always good when writers can share a little light with each other. Warm regards, Mark

ME: I’ve got some darkness to share with you, though. That “marketing genius” you recommended to me ran off with $10,000 of my money…and didn’t do anything. 

FM: Wow, Mark, I’m really sorry to hear that. Just to clarify, are you saying someone I recommended took your money and disappeared? I definitely want to understand, because that’s serious and not something I’d ever want connected to me or passed along to others.

ME: I’m not Mark, you are. And yes, the agent you recommended to me said he could raise my marketing profile with all sorts of publicity, key-word adjustments, etc…using Apex Retail Positioning System, AuthorConnect Engagement Engine for email marketing, and DeepField M.R.A. Insights Lab for market research, among other things, and just disappeared with my cash. What was your experience with him? Because you told me he could take me to the next level like he did for you.

FM: All the best with your writing endeavors. 

ME: You’re blowing me off… after recommending an agent to me who stole my money?

FM: Hey, I’m really sorry this happened to you, but I need to be completely honest, there are a lot of scammers out there pretending to be me or using my name on Facebook. I’m not active on Facebook at all, so whoever contacted you wasn’t me and definitely wasn’t someone I recommended. The only places I’m active are my email and Instagram. I actually work with just one personal marketer, someone who’s been helping me for a long time. I’ve spent around $5000 total with them, and the results have been solid and genuine, nothing like the fake promises these scammers make. If you don’t mind, I can connect you with my real personal marketer. They’ve been honest, reliable, and really effective for me. Again, I hate that you went through this, and I hope you’re able to recover what you lost. I’m here if you need anything else.

ME: How do I know you are really Mark Haddon and not another fraud? Prove it to me. Venmo me $2500. If all goes well with the guy you’re vouching for, I’ll send it back. There’s no risk to you if you trust him and he’s as good as you say he is.

<crickets>

My Conversation with Fake David Baldacci

My conversation with Fake David Baldacci <baldaccidavid1@gmail.com> was a lot of fun.

FAKE DAVID: Hi, I recently came across your work, and I was really struck by the honesty in your storytelling and the way you blend personal experience with universal truth. As a fellow author, I deeply appreciate writing that challenges and moves readers the way yours does. I just wanted to reach out to say how much I admired your work. It’s inspiring to see writing that’s both fearless and artful. Warm regards David

ME: I haven’t heard from you since our lunch at Thrillerfest. Amazing steaks! How did it go with Dr. Auerbach? Frankly, I’d never heard of a testicle transplant before, but I hope it was a success.

FD: Hi Lee, You did have the right author. I’ve just been buried in deadlines and deliverables lately, which is why you hadn’t heard back from me. Total operational bottleneck on my end. And yes, Thrillerfest was a whole experience. Those steaks were absolutely mission critical, and Dr. Auerbach’s conversation was… unforgettable. Let’s just say it added unexpected texture to the day. Good to reconnect. Hope everything on your end is still firing on all cylinders.

ME: How are you feeling? Was the operation a success? You don’t seem to have slowed down at all. Oh, and how is Carol?

FD: Hi Lee, You really know how to drop a follow-up, I’ll give you that. I’m actually recovering pretty well on my end. Slow progress, but the trajectory is solid and the team is optimistic. It definitely forced me to downshift for a bit, but I’m easing back into the workflow. I’m glad to hear you’re recovering from your operation too. Sounds like we’re both navigating our own upgrade cycles. And Carol’s doing well, holding the fort and keeping everything aligned while I get back up to full capacity. Always good hearing from you. What’s the latest project keeping you busy these days?

ME: Engaging with Nigerian scammers pretending to be famous authors.

<crickets>

I was tempted to respond with “Carol is dead, how is she holding the fort?” but I couldn’t resist answering the question.

My Conversation with Second Fake Donna Tartt

My Conversation with 2nd Fake Donna Tartt <tarttdonna897@gmail.com>
FAKE DONNA: Hello, I hope this message finds you well. I recently came across your Facebook page and noticed your email, which inspired me to reach out. As a fellow author, I felt an immediate sense of connection. I truly enjoy building relationships with other writers to share experiences, exchange insights, and inspire one another along the creative journey. It would be wonderful to connect and hear more about your work. Looking forward to your reply. Warm regards, Donna
ME: If you read my Facebook page, you must have missed this: <link to my other Fake Donna Tartt conversation>
FAKE DONNA: Am really talking about business like I’m a fellow author like you
 
ME: You’re a brain-dead Nigerian scammer with an AI account.
 
FAKE DONNA: Sorry I’m actually in Nigeria for a story I need for completing my book so actually am in Nigeria but not a Nigerian
 
ME: LOL. I can’t believe anybody still falls for this idiotic scam. Get a real job that matches your talent, like cleaning toilets.
 
FAKE DONNA: Tell your family to go and clean toilet or die by car you bloody full dumbstick
 
ME: Finally, you drop the charade. It usually doesn’t happen until I insult you people. I am not the one committing a crime, pretending to be a famous person in order to swindle people out of money. You are. You should be ashamed of yourself, but you have no shame. I can’t imagine what it’s like to go through life without a conscience. I pity you.
 
FAKE DONNA: No that’s not actually what I meant I mean I’m actually from Australia but I’m actually in Nigeria for a purpose
 
ME: Do you really think, after all this, that I am so incredibly stupid, that I’d believe you are Donna, and that you can talk me into sending money to your fake charity, fake agent, or fake book marketing person? Are you on crack?
<crickets>
I got a note yesterday from Fake David Baldacci. That conversation could be fun…if “he” responds to my reply.