My Blog

On the Tour

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PICT0002I was up in Northern California last weekend, speaking/signing at Rossmoor, a retirement community outside of my hometown of Walnut Creek. That’s my daughter Maddie in the picture, who has promised to support me with her writing… and get us a condo at Rossmoor for our retirement (Hawaii, she’s decided, is just too far and inconvenient for a woman with her busy schedule).

From Rossmoor, we headed down to Monterey for the East of Eden writing conference, where I was the keynote speaker on Friday night (followed by Jeffrey Deaver on Saturday). We had a marvelous time… even though I dropped a piece of chocolate cake in my lap before I spoke…. a situation I made a lot worse by trying to wipe it off with water in the men’s room. I looked like a guy with a severe bladder control problem. Thankfully, I had a jacket that covered up my, um, stain… that said, it made for a funny intro into my talk. Most people thought I was joking about the accident. I wasn’t. But it went so well, I might just drop some food in my lap before my talk at Bouchercon in October…

Why We Write

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Trust author/editor/columnist Ed Gorman to sum up best why we writers write… and why most of us are also such voracious readers…

If only I loved the writing BUSINESS as much as I do the writing itself. But because I’m not a star it’s scary. It never was, oddly enough, in my first two decades. There were rejections, dust-ups, bad patches. But like most of my fellow full-time writers, I had the sense that things just always took care of themselves. Candide. I wrote, and write today, not for money, fame or immortality. But just because telling stories is so much fun, whatever the fate of those stories might be.

Every once in a while, when the worry termites start gnawing their way through my mind, I refresh myself by sitting down and reading the same kind of writing that made me want to be a writer in the first place….The business can cut you deep. But pure fine writing can heal you up as many times as you require.

Coffee, Tea, Or My Book?

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I’ve heard a lot of novel ways to sell books (nice pun, huh? This is why I get the big bucks). Lee Child told me how he strolled through a London commuter train, handing out free copies of his book. For the next week or so after his stunt, any time someone got on the train, it looked like everybody in England was reading his book… and sales spiked. Another author told me how, after his publisher told him women weren’t reading him, he sent copies of his books to hairdressers across the country to spike word-of-mouth. It worked.

My brother Tod passed along this tidbit about an author who did a book-signing on a plane to Italy… with mixed results.

“Have a free book,” I say again, my cheeks straining under the evident pleasure this is giving me. A hand comes out. “I’m the author,” I announce. And, for some reason, this seems to do the trick. Maybe it’s pity. Maybe it’s curiosity. But hand after hand is thrust towards me.

“Is it free?” comes a question.

“Oh, yes,” I reply. “And it’s very good.”

“Tuscany for Beginners,” reads a rather large lady, her forefinger tracing the title. “But that’s where we’re going.”

“I know,” I grin. “Isn’t it great?”

“Is it about love?” asks a bloke.

“There’s some in there,” I reply.

“Yuk, no thanks,” he says, handing it straight back.

Hurt/Comfort

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When I was writing/producing DIAGNOSIS MURDER, I was surprised to discover that the show had a devoted fan following, and not just among people receiving social security. I was even more surprised to discover there were fans who particularly liked seeing one of the major characters get hurt… and then get comforted by the other worried characters. They particularly enjoy watching Steve get shot, beaten, and otherwise abused…and then see his Dad filled with concern about his injured son, who is preferably recuperating in as little clothing as possible. These viewers call themselves “hurt/comfort” fans and, since the cancellation of the series, they have written scores of fanfic where Steve gets abused real good and then is passionately weeped over by everybody else (or so I’ve heard, judging by the chatter I used to read on the PAX discussion forums). To be honest, the pleasure these fans get from seeing Steve in pain kind of gives me the creeps. Maybe when you read this note to me, posted on www.diagnosismurder.co.uk, about my book THE SHOOTING SCRIPT, you’ll understand why…

I have read a few more chapters. I just finished the part where Mark was injured and shot at and Steve wants Mark to go to the hospital.

I don’t know quite how to put this. I’m tired of reading about Mark getting hurt. In two books Mark has been hurt. I’d like to be able to read a DM book that has some Steve hurt/comfort in it. And I don’t mean he’s upset because Mark, Jesse or someone else is hurt. I mean Steve hurt himself, and Mark having to worry about Steve for a change…

From,
Betty
Barrionette
Steve Hurt/Comfort Fan
Steve Angst Fan
Steve and Mark Relationship Fan
Steve and Ellen Fan

What do you think?

Lots of Killing

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maddiesignsThat’s the title of my daughter Madison’s first novel in her “Adventures of Kitty Wonder” series… which she wrote, illustrated, edited, and published, just in time for my signings at Mysteries to Die For in Thousand Oaks and the Mystery Book Store in Westwood. I’m pleased to say she captivated the audience and sold out her entire first printing.

Aldo Calcagno, aka The Mystery Dawg, was kind enough to report on the event on his blog… and post some pictures… one of which I borrowed to illustrate this post.

Maddie’s books are about the adventures of the Kitty Crew… Earthquake Kitty (who has the power to stop earthquakes with a special gadget), Hole Kitty (who’s job is to be nice and kind to other people except monsters, which she gladly kills) and Super Kitty (who’s job it is help people when they fall out of bed). Together they are a crime fighting team who take on thieves, Giant Robots (in the sequel, “Robots Fighting”) and mutated piranha.

The characters are inspired by the stuffed Beatrix Potter Tom Kittens she’s kept as her “security blanket”/”cuddle toy.” One kitty she’s had since her days in a crib (Hole Kitty), one was stowed in her pre-school earthquake kit to comfort her in case of disaster (Earthquake Kitty), and the other (Super Kitty) was a spare we kept in case the other two beloved stuffed animals ever got trashed…hence their names and super powers.

Maddie’s publisher informs me the books are going into a second printing just as soon as she gets a new printer cartridge…which means the 25 folks who bought the first printing now have a valuable collector’s item…

How NOT to Sell Your Book to Television

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I got this unsolicited email today:

I have published a book and am interested in selling the television rights. I will send you a copy upon request, but you can go to http://www.authorhouse.com/ and see a synopsis and excerpts from sample chapters. The book is titled "Six Days of the Pigs" and I wrote it under the pen name R.J. Carrie-Reddington. In retrospect, it was probably a mistake to publish it under a pen name, but if you are interested, I can explain my reasons for doing so. Thanks for your attention. If you are interested in representing me, please advise.

How’s that for salesmanship? After reading that compelling pitch, is it any wonder this book was self-published? Ordinarily, I would have deleted the message and moved on… but I’m writing under an insane deadline, so any opportunity for procrastination is, of course, welcome. And I haven’t posted anything on my blog in a while. So I checked out the site. Here’s how R.J. Carrie-Reddington describes his novel:

A story about the people of Eastern North Carolina, awash with hogs, and the men, women and children caught in a mixture of loving and fighting between the love of good living and the love of money. The story is about how powerful politicians and bureaucrats are pitted against citizens who want to live a life of quality. It tells about six days of fast-moving events which are the culmination of simmering happenings of romance, illicit sex and violence that leads to murder. The six days end with a horrific tale of fire and mass destruction, and teaches a lesson. The plot was set in a real time of events. The story depicts the interaction between power and money seekers and those average folks who kept functioning routinely each day…

I’m not sure I’ve ever read a book where "the plot was set in a real time of events." So I gave the first chapter a peek…and didn’t get past the powerful first line:

Midway between dawn and sunrise the Tuesday morning air, heavy with nature’s fog, reeked with the acrid odor of pig feces as the skinny white man stood at the edge of the front porch, listening to Addie cry.

Now I know why he approached me. I’m a skinny white man and I wrote for "The Highwayman." If anyone can make television that reeks of the acrid odor of pig feces, it’s me!

I’m an Actor Now…

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Last week, I had my first acting role in a half-hour comedy. I got to play…

Lee Goldberg.

That’s right, I had to play me. A complex, compelling character with lots of quirky levels.

The role was part of a TV Land pilot called TV KITSCHEN, starring Martin Mull and Fred Willard. It’s a scripted talkshow (ala FERNWOOD TONIGHT) about TV culture. The pilot was written by Tom Hill and directed by Ted Lange, the bartender from THE LOVE BOAT. I was invited as a “Television Expert” to introduce clips from busted pilots which, if TV KITSCHEN goes, would be a regular feature of the show.

I’ve been on TV before as a guest — talking about my books, or pilots, or whatever series I’m doing — and I’m usually very relaxed and comfortable on camera. But this was the first time I had to learn lines and “act” natural… and do it opposite two comedy legends who like to improvise.

I was probably awful but it was exciting and I had a great time. And Ted Lange told me I’m a natural. Did I mention he was on THE LOVE BOAT? Every actor in television was on that show at one time or another. If Ted doesn’t know raw acting talent when he sees it, who does?

So after much thought, I’ve decided that if Pierce Brosnan really is stepping down as Bond, I’d like to throw my name in for consideration.