The “Journalistic Integrity” of VARIETY, Part II

On Tuesday, Variety editor/publisher Peter Bart wrote that Michael Ovitz made a fool of himself in his controversial interview with Vanity Fair… if Ovitz had talked to Variety instead, Bart would have made sure that Ovitz came off well. Bart’s column article explicitly stated what everyone already knows about Variety: that it won’t publish anything that might upset anyone with power in the Industry.

The very next day, in the same space that Bart revealed that the magazine had no journalistic integrity whatsoever, Brian Lowry had the gall to whine about how wrong it is for publicists and execs to lie to Variety reporters.

Leading the pack were the folks at Comcast and E!, who not only insisted for weeks that network prexyprexy Mindy Herman wasn’t going anywhere but were positively indignant that anyone would suggest otherwise — right until they announced her departure.

In similar fashion, Viacom president Mel Karmazin stated as recently as five weeks ago that he had no plans to leave the company — after endless gossip about his fractious relationship with chairman Sumner Redstone — before the rumor finally became reality Tuesday.

This casual relationship with truth — down to the Clinton-esque parsing of words like “is” — might sound like no big deal, especially when it comes to fending off pesky reporters. Yet I’d argue there is a potential price to be paid.

Why should anyone at Variety care? (For one thing, they never reported… as the LA Times did… about Mindy Herman’s questionable behavior at E!) Had Ovitz talked to Variety, would we have read a true account of what he said? No, because unlike Vanity Fair, Peter Bart would have sanitized what he said…for Ovitz’s own good. Did Bart care about the truth? Of course not. He cared about preserving his relationship with a powerful industry player. Why? Because the over-riding journalistic mission of Variety is to make sure the studios keep buying self-congratulatory ads in their publication.

That’s why you’ll never read anything even remotely approaching actual, roll-up-your-sleeves-and-dig-deep reporting in the pages of Variety.

More significantly, this comes when trust in the media and particularly the press has been rightfully shaken. Part of that stems from transgressions by reporters — the New York Times’ Jayson Blair, the New Republic’s Stephen Glass, USA Today’s Jack Kelly

Where’s Brian’s out-rage about Peter Bart’s admission that he would have protected Ovitz? About Bart offering Ovitz the opportunity to vet his quotes before publication?

Bart’s column certainly shook my trust in Variety, not that I had much to begin with.

Early in my reporting career, I remember asking a source about a rather unpleasant rumor that was making the rounds. “See, I’m never sure when I should lie to you,” he said, to which I responded: “That’s easy: Never — at least, if you want me to believe you ever again.”

All this brings to mind a favorite scene in “Excalibur,” where Merlin tells nasty King Uther why the world has caved in around him. “You betrayed the Duke, stole his wife and took his castle,” the wizard hisses. “Now no one trusts you.”

The same could be said about Variety.

Brian Lowry should read Peter Bart’s column … and then he might realize why its laughable for anybody at Variety to whine about not being told the truth.

Hens Are Supposed to Lay Eggs

From the San Diego Union Tribune

Zambian man commits suicide after sex with hen

REUTERS
7:52 a.m. May 28, 2004

LUSAKA – A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.

The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.

“He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,” a police spokesman said.

The man from the town of Chongwe, about 30 miles east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers. The hen was butchered after the incident.

The “Journalistic Integrity” of VARIETY

In Daily Variety, editor Peter Bart talks about the disappearance of Michael Ovitz… as if anyone misses him. But the most interesting thing about the article is what it reveals about Variety’s editorial policy.

I argued that Variety would lend him the audience that he most wanted to reach, including, no doubt, some of the people he perceived as having brought down his company. Our paper would certainly not endorse Ovitz’s charges, but we could offer him a chance to vent. The decline and fall of Michael Ovitz, after all, was a damn good news story.

Understandably, he responded that Vanity Fair offered him a vastly wider audience. Over lunch at Ago one day, I decided to try one last tactic. “Look, Mike,” I said, “you’re out of control. You’re saying some wild things.”

“They’re all off the record,” he protested. “You and I have known each other a long time. I can speak freely…”

“If you say these things to Vanity Fair, they’ll kill you. If you want to do an interview in Variety, I will see to it that your direct quotes will be read back to you so you can verify their accuracy. You can’t, of course, read the article ahead of time.”

In other words, if Ovitz talked to Variety, they’d protect him, they’d make sure he wouldn’t say anything he’d regret later (how reading his quotes back to him is any different than reading him the article ahead of time is beyond me). The Ovitz-vetted article they would have written wouldn’t have been the scathing expose Vanity Fair wrote, it wouldn’t have truly depicted the “damn good news story” of Ovitz’s rise and fall. Bart would have seen to that…

A few days later I got word that he’d decided to talk to Vanity Fair. Predictably, the story contained all of the Ovitz “crazy talk” — the paranoid diatribes about the “Gay Mafia,” plus accusations against Eisner and against his lethal enemies (and former proteges) at CAA. “They wanted to kill me. If they could have taken my wife and kids, they would have…,” he ranted.

The net effect of all this was inevitable: Ovitz had punched all the self-destruct buttons it was possible to punch. He had instantly isolated himself from his Hollywood power base. He’d totally blown it.

In seeking out his story, was I trying to protect Ovitz from himself? I suppose so, on one level.

Gee, I wonder if Pete would do the same for me… or anybody else in The Industry who doesn’t have $100 million in his checking account. The editorial policy at Variety is clearly to kiss up to execs and stars and not say or do anything that could possibly offend or embarrass anyone in a position of power. Remember, Bart used to run a studio himself…and no Variety reporter wants to damage their chances to become a screenwriter or studio exec.

This is why nobody takes Variety seriously…and why the only real reporting about the Industry is done in the LA Times business section. There was a time when Variety was more than just a collection of press releases… when they did real reporting. But that time, sadly, seems to be long gone…

(If you want a clear example, just compare the stories the LA Times and Variety ran about Mindy Herman, the ex-CEO of E!)

Where No Writer Has Gone Before…

Gerald So reports on his blog…

In last night’s season finale, the Enterprise destroyed a key sphere, saving the Xindi homeworld in the Expanse while Captain Archer destroyed the Xindi superweapon that threatened Earth. Finally, in a Planet of the Apes-style turn, Enterprise ends up in the midst of WWII, with a badly burned Archer found by Nazi Germany. For the last shot, the camera pans up to a sinister blue-faced alien. Ooh.

Oh, indeed. This entire season has been a desperate effort to save the show itself from a UPN superweapon — cancellation. While the stories were better (its hard not to improve on exciting episodes like… “Capt Archer spends a night in sick bay worried about his dying dog”), most of the plots still felt like re-heated left-overs from previous Star Trek series. The attempts to sex the show up — with backrubs, showers, and a visit by a bisexual alien who “x-rays” humans with heavy petting — seemed to have been written by horny teenagers who’ve never been laid.

But the ratings stayed lousy, and the future must have looked bleak to the producers…why else end the season with a ridiculous nod to Planet of the Apes? My guess, and its strictly a guess,. is that they figured the show was over, anyway… so why not?

That’s why we blew up the hospital in a season finale of “Diagnosis Murder.” We didn’t think the show was coming back… (and if it did, I wanted to shoot new hospital stock footage and this was one way to force the studio to pay for it).

Hell, I would have preferred if all the Nazis *were* apes… at least it would have shown some cheeky humor on the producers’ part.

What’s more amazing is that network execs looked at this episode and said “hey, let’s do more!”

Actually, not really.

The studio that makes the show just happens to own the network.

A Scary Story by Madison Goldberg

My eight year old daughter Madison enjoys going to my signings so much, she’s decided to write books herself. Last year, she wrote, illustrated, published, signed and sold two books — “The Adventures of Kitty Wonder: Lots of Killing” and “The Adventures of Kitty Wonder: Robots Fighting” — at some of my signings for $1 each. She was thrilled.

She just wrote her first short story — one she warns will scare you TO DEATH — and insisted I post it here on my site. So lower the lights, grab a blanket to hide behind, and prepare yourself for:

A SCARY STORY

There were two girls named Tia and Jenny. Tia had brown hair and was tall. Jenny was tall and had glasses. Jenny came for a sleepover at Tia’s. She arrived at five. Tia answered the doorbell. Tia and Jenny were playing for a very long time and then had a good dinner. It was time to go to bed. When they were in the cozy bed, Tia told scary stories!!

First she told one about Frankenstein who kills a little girl!!!! The story goes like this: “The night before Halloween, a little girl named Ally went in the cemetary.”

Tia paused, “If you want me to stop telling the story, it’s okay. I understand because my sister told me the same story and I got scared too!!”

Jenny said, “You can go on with the story.It’s not so scary.”

Tia went on with the story. “Ally went in the scary cemetary. She saw Frankenstein. She was screaming for a minute. Suddenly Frankenstein killed Ally by ripping her in half and all the blood came out of her body. Frankenstein went to his house near the swamp. He went in this big tunnel carrying Ally. Frankenstein brought Ally dead, with all the blood dripping on the hot ground. Frankenstein saw all his friends, Ghost, Goblin, and Pumpkin. Frankenstein put her in a big pot to cook her and have her for dinner. Frankenstein and his friends were playing and they just let Ally sit there being cooked. Frankenstein and their friends were looking for dessert.Since their friend Pumpkin is a pumpkin, Frankenstein and his friends caught him and made pumpkin pie for dessert!! Frankenstein and his friends went to check on Ally the dead girl. Ghost got out the napkins and the forks, spoons and plates. Ally the dead girl with her blood made a terrific sauce for…. Ally The Meat!!!!!!! The monsters had a–“

Jenny stopped the story and said “Please, stop this story, I am getting too scared.”

Tia said, “It’s okay, don’t be scared, if you want me to stop telling the story, I will.”

Tia’s Mom said “It’s time for Jenny to go home.”

Tia said “Okay.”

Jenny gathered all her stuff and said bye to Tia. She walked out the door and left. They both had a very fun time. But Jenny was still scared!!!!

THE END

Selling Yourself

I sent an email to my editor the other day, listing the events I’ve got scheduled to promote my book and the ones in the works. He wrote me back saying how pleased and impressed he was that I was working so hard to support the book.

I can’t imagine an author who wouldn’t do the same thing… but, apparently, there are.

The way I look at it, writing the book is only half the job… you have to sell it to. Unless you’re already a bestselling author, or can afford a high-powered publicist, you have to go out there and sell yourself.

A lot of people cringe at the idea. Sell myself? How tacky.

The idea of promoting yourself, of actually selling your work, can make some authors hyperventilate.

But if you want your books to sell, you have to write booksellers, call booksellers, go out and meet booksellers… months before your novel actually comes out. You need to convince them, first and foremost, the stock your book… and then, perhaps, invite you in for a signing.

If you’re a new author, or a mid-list author like myself, you probably ask yourself why anyone would bother booking you for a signing. Who the hell is going to come to see me? I’m not Elmore Leonard.

But I learned a valuable lesson years ago… it’s not the books you sell at your signing that counts, but the books that are sold in the days and weeks after you leave. And you can’t beat the advertising a signing gives your books… without an event scheduled, you’re just six copies, spine out, on a shelf among thousands of other titles in the store. If the store is having you for a signing, you get a highly visible display of dozens of books, cover out, for days in advance of your appearannce… as well as days afterward. Think of it as in-store advertising. You will stand out in a way you wouldn’t without booking the event, whether a single person shows up or not. More importantly, you will get to know the bookseller who, if you’re lucky, will like you and your novel enough to recommend it to shoppers ie “hand-sell” it to customers.

I did a signing once where no one showed up… I sat in the store for two hours chatting with the owners and signed all the stock. A month later, they drop-shipped another box of books for me to sign… they’d sold out of their stock. (Of course, you want people to show up… that’s the best thing of all!)

It isn’t enough to simply schedule a signing… you have to let people know it’s happening. You need to promote yourself as well as sell yourself. Especially now, in this rough publishing climate. That means sending out mailings… establishing a website… and sending out press releases.

You also need to just get out there and network… that means going conventions, book festivals, and events in your genre (MWA events if you’re a mystery writer, for example).

Of course, you can go to far… and get the rep as a blatant self promoting whore. It’s a fine line… but one any writer who hopes to stay in print has to walk.

The Long Report

Rob Long is a sitcom writer who also wrote the amusing novel CONVERSATIONS WITH MY AGENT a few years back. Now’s he’s got a radio gig that could be very interesting for folks curious about the TV biz…

New commentators during the NPR’s All Things Considered & Weekend Edition.

June 2nd, meet veteran TV writer Rob Long. Each week he’ll share a behind-the-scenes look at Hollywood life with Martini Shot — a four-minute weekly commentary heard during KCRW’s broadcast of NPR’s All Things Considered. It will air Wednesdays at 6:44 pm, beginning June 2nd. Rob Long’s career began as a writer on the long-running TV sitcom, “Cheers” and he served as co-executive producer in its final season. He production company is currently based at Paramount Studios. He’s a contributing editor of National Review, and Newsweek International and writes occasionally for the Wall Street Journal.

Signings

My latest DIAGNOSIS MURDER novel, “The Shooting Script,” is coming out on August 3, so I am starting to line up signings and speaking engagements. Here’s the schedule so far, with more in the works…

Saturday, Aug. 7, 2:30 pm Mysteries to Die For, Thousand Oaks, CA
Wednesday, Aug 25, Rossmoor Auditorium, Walnut Creek CA (more info to come)
August 27-29, 2004 East of Eden Conference, Salinas, CA Keynote Speaker, Panel Participant
Saturday, Sept. 18, 10-4 pm Men of Mystery, Irvine, CA
Sunday, Oct. 3, 2 pm Sisters In Crime, South Pasadena Public Library
Oct. 7-10, Bouchercon 2004 Toronto

Van Helsing Slays Itself

Long before VAN HELSING was even released, Universal was already treating it as if it was a boxoffice phenomenon, planning movie sequels and even an NBC TV series called TRANSYLVANIA.

Then the movie was released.

Here’s the thing about exploiting a big hit movie… it needs to be a big hit movie first. It also helps if the movie is good.

Now Variety is reporting that the ambitious plans for the VAN HELSING-inspired TV series have been scrapped.

“Transylvania” may live– but don’t look for it at NBC.
Nine months ago, the Peacock pacted with Universal Network Television for “Transylvania,” a drama set in the universe of Universal Pictures’ “Van Helsing” and exec produced by Stephen Sommers. Hopes were high that a pilot would be in this month’s upfront lineup and that the nascent series could benefit from a summer’s worth of movie promos.

It turns out, however, that NBC quietly cooled on “Transylvania” just a few months after the project was announced

Network execs claim the decision has nothing to do with the fact VAN HELSING was a boxoffice dud and a critical bomb (because, as we know, networks clamor to do TV series based flop movies.. THE NEW ADVENTURES OF GIGLI is going to be big at ABC, don’t you think?)

“The box office has no bearing whatsoever on our plans to move forward or not,” says NBCU entertainment prexy Jeff Zucker. “It’s a creative decision based on content and concept. We just want to make sure it has the right network home.”

“Transylvania” may still walk among us: Other networks outside the NBC U universe are said to be interested in the show.

We’ll keep our eyes open for it on PAX.